The power of a YES

Yesterday was quite a day for me.  I was sitting in my kitchen, crying over my coffee (no joke) as I drafted a response email to a recent and raw rejection letter, feeling so totally defeated and debating about how bitchy I could be over email without getting fired completely.  It was not a shining moment.  I decided against the bitchiness, deleted the snarky comments, released my need to be right and clever, and hit send with a simple "thank you, I am grateful for your feedback."  Because under my bruised ego, I was.  Then I ate a piece of Godiva 80% dark chocolate, took a deep breath, and set about returning other emails.

My trusty pink Blackberry buzzed at me and I saw that it was my agent.  This was it.  I was expecting this call- THE call, after the initial audition, the callback, the "put those dates on hold" call.  The call that says YES, the gig is YOURS!  OR close, but no cigar.  I said a silent prayer and picked up the phone.  I really needed a win.  And for the first time in a long, long time, it was a yes.

My initial feeling (which still lingers as I type this post) was relief.  I believe my first words to my agent were "Oh thank GOD."  The Yes meant so much more to me in that moment than the actual gig, the money I will make, the star I get to meet and work closely with, the notoriety.  It was the sweet taste of validation.  That sip of champagne when you haven't had any for a year, how it warms your whole body as it goes down  The feeling of "oooohhhh man that is GOOD."  The little nod from the universe, patting me on the head and saying "it's okay honey, you're on the right track."  And all of a sudden, the past four months of NOs crack open and show me that they were simply clearing the way for this very big Yes.

So I celebrated.  I called my fiancee and my mom and my family.  I looked up at my vision board and saw a picture of the star I am going to spend two days working with this week, and said THANK YOU.  I went for a massage.

And then I went to teach intenSati.  As I stood at the front of the room, I reflected on my intro for my last class, just the day before, how I was doubting that I was "the one," how I really needed a win, how I use the words from class like a lifeline to stay strong and keep the faith.  And here I was, 24 hours later, with the Yes.  And that's when it hit me.  The lesson does not lie in the Yes.  Don't get me wrong, the Yes is AMAZING and exciting and makes everything better.  But we spend most of our time in that limbo between the initial wanting of The Thing and receiving it.  So what do we do in that time?  We practice faith.  We choose to believe it's on its way, and in perfect time.  We accept challenges as lessons.  We honor our desire, we remember what we want, we stay the course.  And, in the simple words of one of my besties, THINGS WORK OUT.

This Thursday and Friday I will be shooting a L'Oreal commercial with Beyonce.  I am so grateful for this Yes!  I am also grateful to be a teacher and to have a reason to search for the lessons- so I can share them with you.

Much, much love to you and have a fantastic day!